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The Steamgear Tavern [userpic]

First assignment

February 27th, 2008 (01:03 pm)


(1st assignment - attempting a Dickensian style.)

Though the glorious confusion and rowdy bombast of the Tavern is a verdant jungle to its regular patrons, and a proverbial golden goose to its purveyor, Lady Penthrift, to a certain gentleman skulking within its homely arch, the Steamgear Tavern remains the den of vice and licentious pestilence which he cannot but abhor. Every fiber of Mr. Pike's illustrious inner being shivers at the filth he perceives around him - each loud laugh, each sloshed drink, each speck of dust that lands on his table or his dirty shirt sleeve sends unseen tremors of disgust through Mr. Pike's immaculate soul. Yet this singular fastidiousness remains all but invisible to those around him.

Born to a different destiny than those who swagger and swig their days and nights away in this haven of sin, Mr. Hector Pike, dressed de regur as becomes a pirate of the Tavern's ilk, is in fact a wolf in sheep's clothing. Or, perhaps the reverse. Taking disguise to new and as yet unparalleled heights, Mr. Pike seeks to deceive in every aspect; his height and build is muffled by an affected crooked shoulder and a limp, as well as a heavy cape and baggy clothing which give the appearance of fullness to an otherwise gaunt figure. Mr. Pike's sharp face, nose curved like a scimitar and just as dangerous, and in general his most acutely angled features are softened by rouged cheeks (which imitate the drunkard's natural rosy hue and hide the gentleman's usual pasty complexion) and a false moustache which gives his lower lip an appearance of fullness and hides the thinness of his upper lip admirably well. Only his steely, oddly flickering eyes, somewhat reminiscent of a rat's which flash in the dark, escape the deception, though it may be seen that he has made valiant efforts against this defect by acquiring an eye-patch over one of the offending organs.

Whether Mr. Pike, bedecked in pirate dress and with movements puppet-like in imitation of piratical panache (but with a single goal of not fixing attention to himself in any way), whether this non-descript Mr. Pike is a sheep disguised as a wolf, or a wolf disguised as the mongrel dog he hunts, cannot be certain at present. Whatever the case, Mr. Pike, a detective in service to His Majesty's Praetorian Guard, makes his transformation from civil servant to gentleman of fortune every night in hopes that he may, through much patience and planning, set hands upon the rogue that eludes him; the mysterious nemesis who was responsible for the infamous Crane family fire.

Like a scenting hound he stalks to the Tavern every night to sniff through the scattered scraps of conversation that loosened tongues let fall. He has no respect for the shady characters surrounding him, he finds their crass ways alien and offensive; their cares, trifling and irrelevant; their jokes, barbaric and crude; their reasoning, lunatic and bestial. 

"Thou ever steep't in wine, Dog's face but with the heart of a Hart..." he murmurs to himself thinking of his unknown adversary and quoting from the only book he has read in his life - the epic Achilles being the sole figure in literature with and for whom he has ever found an inkling of respect or understanding. Mr. Pike's father, as recalled with disapproval, was an actor and his mother a librarian - both impoverished and delusional in their love of the written word - but our Mr. Pike, fortunately, is of a more practical, sensible turn of mind. No ridiculous flights of overweening fancy distract him from his purpose.  Like a sleek hound he will find his prey, even if he must return to the Tavern and suffer through the belches and raucous laughter night after night. Staunchly he closes his eyes to those offenses which constantly threaten at any moment to jar and jangle his nerves so that he may never come to untangle them. Yet he waits, for not even piratical naughtiness or distressing lack of hygiene can keep him from his purpose.

- First Assignment

- Stephie


Posted by: The Steamgear Tavern (steamgeartavern)
Posted at: February 29th, 2008 03:19 pm (UTC)

"piratical naugtiness or distressing lack of hygiene" Hehe! Brilliant. I love the Dickensesque sentence structure. I think it is splendidly long winded!

I am afraid if we keep going in this manner we may end up writing a novel from these characters!

Posted by: Steph (theqib)
Posted at: March 1st, 2008 02:40 pm (UTC)

I think we should. A ridiculous tragi-comic pirate epic. (Or perhaps an operetta?)

Posted by: The Steamgear Tavern (steamgeartavern)
Posted at: March 24th, 2008 04:04 am (UTC)
Operetta . . .

An operetta sounds splendid. A space pirate operetta. Perhaps.

Nicely done, Stephie!


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